SammyClassicSonicFan: Lost Episode
POLICE REPORT:
This is the journal of the victim, found dead in his apartment. We believe his cause of death was suicide; asphyxiation. His intestines were found spewed all over the place, and his skull lay outside his head, shattered. This is what it says.
Friday, February 13th, 2016
Just another day at college, going to classes, the usual boring stuff. School's so boring. Sometimes I wish I had just taken that job at McDonald's instead of coming to this god-forsaken place they call "Everest College." I have nothing better to do in my free time than watch SammyClassicSonicFan; my favorite YouTuber. I love Nintendo, but my broke ass can't afford any consoles. So I have no choice but to watch Sammy. He's my idol. He's like my father. I never had a father; he left me when I was six years, six months, and sixty-six hours old. SammyClassicSonicFan was there for me when no one else was. I'm really glad I managed to scrape up enough money to buy my own dorm; I hated sharing my room with Michael. He always laughed at me for my extensive SammyClassicSonicFan merchandise collection. Now that I'm alone, I can freely plaster my fanart, fanfictions, posters, bobbleheads, and much more, all over my room.
I went on YouTube, as usual, and squealed with delight upon noticing that Sammy, my lord, had uploaded a new video. It was a little... odd. The video was simply titled "SENIC.wmv," and the thumbnail was black. I thought nothing of it and clicked on the video. The beautiful intro played as normal, but something was wrong. One of Sammy's figurines - the limited edition, rare, one-of-a-kind Knuckles action figure, had a scratch on it. This shocked me greatly - Sammy would ''never'' let his precious toys sustain any damage. I disregarded it - perhaps his pet dog shat on it or something. It wouldn't be Sammy's fault. Suddenly, my WiFi crashed. I slammed my forehead against my computer table aggressively sixty-six times out of frustration. I wanted to watch my video!
Cursing to myself, I stumbled along my humble abode, occasionally tripping on a pizza box, pile of books, or unattended feces (often they fall out of the bucket during my longer sessions spent on the internet). I finally found my router, buried under several bags of Cheetos somewhere in my room. The router appeared to be working - I guess I could just blame my stupid service provider. I fell asleep on a stack of cardboard boxes, still angry. I guess I can finish the video tomorrow.
February 14th, 2016
I decided to skip classes today - I really wanted to see that video. I was so excited to see it, but I would soon regret it.
I watched the video from the beginning - the same intro, but this time the Knuckles figurine had TWO scratches.
"What the hell?" I thought to myself. "Figurines shouldn't be abused like that!"
The video was soon to get much, much worse.
Sammy was sitting on his desk. His back was turned to the camera. He was doing... something on his computer table which was occupying him. Grunts of effort could be heard as he attempted to do whatever it was he was doing. I was doing everything I could do to see what he was doing, but I couldn't. This did frustrate me. Suddenly, his chair rotated around 180 degrees. Sammy's hair was messy and he had an almost sadistic grin, revealing 666 rows of razor sharp teeth.
"What the frickin' frick?" I thought to myself.
Sammy opened his eyes, and oh God, it was terrifying. They were pure black - and they were ''hyper-realistic.'' He started to speak, in a distorted, deep, demonic tone.
"Hey, I didn't frickin' see you there!"
His voice was distorted and so scary I wanted to close the video right there and then, but I couldn't move my eyes off of evil Sammy. I'm going to call him Ymmas, because he was really evil (it's clever because it's Sammy spelled backwards). The video was about to get a lot more horrifying.
Ymmas was holding a Knuckles figurine in his hand, but I almost couldn't recognize it. In his other hand, he had a hyper-realistic knife, and he put 666 scratches in Knuckles. It was so horrifying - why was he doing this? I thought those toys were his pride and joy...
He continued the video.
"I heard you frickin' fricks didn't like my videos... so I'm going to ''make '' you enjoy them!" He picked up the camera and carried it down to his basement. He turned on the lights to reveal 666 people, tied up and gagged. "These frick-faces always posted mean comments. They thought I was six years old! How is that frickin' possible?! I'm actually 666 YEARS OLD!" The video took a far more horrifying twist there - he began to pull at his face, and his skin came off like a mask. Underneath it was a horrible black demon with hyper-realistic demon skin that was all black. The 666 prisoners watched in horror, but they couldn't scream for help as there were gags in their mouths (remember?).
He looked at the camera again and said "now... do you believe me?"
The prisoners all frantically nodded yes. Ymmas wagged a finger at them, like he always does in his videos. Except instead of his index finger, he waved a demonic black middle finger!
"No, no, no! I don't believe you! Frickin' haters always lie!"
His waving got faster, and faster, until he created a demonic black hurricane! It blew away 66 of the prisoners, killing them instantly. I continued to watch the video, but I was sobbing now. Why was he doing this? Why?
He approached another one of the mean haters.
"Richard... Parkisson, right? You used to bully me in school! Now I'm going to bully ''YOU!''
"
He snapped his fingers, and suddenly his Sonic figurines all came to life. They charged downstairs, even the mutilated Knuckles figurine, and began ripping apart all of the prisoners. They screamed hyper-realistic screams as the toys ripped them piece from piece. Then Ymmas whistled, and his dog came downstairs. The dog was now a black hyper-realistic hell hound! It continued to maul and eat everyone to death! I was so terrified. Tears and mucus streamed down my face, interlaced with each other, and fell onto my lap.
"What the frickin' frick?! Why the frick would you do that?!"
Suddenly Ymmas looked at the camera and said "because they're frickin' haters, Jimmy!"
I was shocked. How did Ymmas know my name? I was so scared that I jumped up and the pile of mucus mixed with tears on my lap ejected onto my computer, making it explode.
"Well... frick..." I said to myself. I was grateful that it was over.
March 18th, 2016
Everything has been going normal since that fateful day. That was until today, when I saw SENIC.wmv being played all over campus! Every TV screen, computer, phone, tablet, laptop, was playing the video at the same time. All of the other students were a little weirded out.
"Hey, that's kinda weird." They said when they saw the 666 prisoners being executed. They shrugged it off and ignored it. When everyone was gone, Ymmas looked at the camera again and said,
"Jimmy. You will regret destroying the computer. You didn't see the ending of the video."
Then I saw one last prisoner. Ymmas took off the mask and gag he had over the prisoner... it was me! He started to smack me over and over again with a sonic plushie. I guess it didn't hurt that much, because it was a plushie. But he continued to do it for 666 hours, and I had no choice but to keep watching! Eventually, Jimmy (or, the guy who happened to be me in the video), made a loud gurgling noise, fell over, and died!
"You're next," he said.
"But... didn't you just kill me?" I asked.
"Yes, and no."
The video cut to static and ended. I started to walk back to my dorm when I heard behind me "frickin' frick!"
I turned around. Nothing there.
I went back to my room, but everything was on fire! There was Ymmas, standing all black and demonic. He gave a hyper-realistic evil smile and grabbed me and ripped me open and threw my intestines everywhere then he took my skull out of my head somehow and started smacking me over the head with it.
"This isn't even physically possible!" I screamed, but Ymmas didn't listen.
Finally, he hung me and I died, but not before I somehow finished this journal entry stating the exact nature of my murder. If you're reading this, I didn't commit suicide! I died! Run now, before Sammy - er - Ymmas - finds you! Agghhhhhh!
(The rest of the pages are covered in blood)
Based on the contents of this journal, we have concluded that the victim committed suicide. He has no friends or family, so nobody would really want to know of his death.
Huh, what's that?
Oh no, it's Ymmas! RUN! AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111
Police report #2:
Officer Jones was found dead in the same apartment as Jimmy Black, his intestines having been ripped out, his skull found broken, laying somewhere, and his corpse was hanging next to Jimmy's. I guess it was another suicide.
Wait, what's that...
Oh no, it's Ymmmas! RUN!
AHHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111
THIS IS SAMMYCLASSICSONICFAN SPEAKING. IF YOU DON'T SEND THIS TO 666 MOTHERS AND VOTE THIS AS THE CREEPYPASTA OF THE YEAR, I WILL FIND YOU YOU FRICKIN' FRICK!